It would be a vast understatement to say women’s rights are in the national spotlight. There’s no escaping it. Whether it’s inflammatory remarks tweeted by our nation’s president himself, or the stories of misconduct that have birthed the powerful #metoo campaign and inspired commentary from everyone from Oprah to high school girls calling out the NRA on the news, it seems as if “Girl Power” has never been hotter.
But let’s be clear about what “empowerment” really means. Like many buzz words, sometimes the real essence of the movement can get misconstrued, misinterpreted and misrepresented when left in the wrong hands. Much like the word “feminism”, the idea of “girl empowerment” can be mistakenly associated with male-bashing, extremism or some form of exclusionary, man-hating defensive form of rejecting help from anyone with a penis.
But empowerment doesn’t have to come at the expense of someone else’s freedom or self definition. True empowerment is about developing self-awareness, understanding the depths of self-love and honoring what’s resonates with you at your very core. It’s about becoming self-defined regardless of all the external influencers around us telling us who we should be in this world. This exploration of who we are is an ongoing journey that continues to evolve throughout our lifetime. And it’s an awareness that begins with granting ourselves permission to explore those concepts and define those boundaries with bold lines in the sand instead of blurry lines that we allow to become overlooked or erased.
It is through my own self-discovery that I’ve been inspired to teach others how to turn away from unhealthy behaviors and disempowering choices that limits one from discovering one’s true potential. My journey of working with teen girls evolved with the realization that these conversations about truly understanding what self-love means needed to start earlier.
How does a girl become empowered?
By breaking down the media’s distorted views of beauty, we teach teen girls that only THEY can set the marker of their own value and worth. A girl gains powerful insight by seeing objectification for what it is — false apparitions created to fuel the monster of insecurity — and by placing her value in the areas that count – her brain, her heart, her creativity, her integrity. Understanding that if she places her value in her external vessel, her looks or body, she only feeds the insidious culture of girl-against-girl. We are all much stronger when we are united and lifting each other.
By understanding who she is, by tuning into her intuition. Knowing what feel great, what gives her energy, what lights her up. Acknowledging when something makes her uncomfortable, creates anxiety or sucks her energy completely.
Knowing that the relationship she has with herself will impact every decision she makes and therefore being aware of her thoughts with respect to self-love — and judgement, criticism, shame and other harmful yet powerful voices that can chip away at her identity. She’s aware of that inner critic that rears its ugly head with self-doubt but by becoming aware of that voice she can choose to have a healthy balance with more thoughts of love, acceptance and compassion. She can begin to become her own best friend and voice of reason.
By mindfully choosing the people she calls her tribe based on her knowing what she desires in friendship. She knows what a healthy relationship feels like and surrounds herself with people who love and accept her for who she is. Friends who truly see her and celebrate her.
By defining and honoring her boundaries fiercely and letting go of what doesn’t serve her.
She is in control of her life and makes choices based on her truth because she trusts her inner compass that guides her. This gives her confidence and grounds her so when she’s faced with life’s storms (and she will be) she can face them with strong sails to plow through the rough seas and come out the other side a little wiser and a little stronger. Then she can reflect with gratitude for the lessons and growth that will inevitably follow. She will inspire others to be brave enough to do the same.
This is self-love.
This is empowerment.
